To be established in his presence…
To Be Established in His presence…
It is also to be established in His name, glory, and identity. This is a testimony of how the Lord God has been delivering me from being my own worst enemy by removing the devil's sight from my eyes.
It’s a common prayer amongst believers to pray “Lord help me to see how you see and hear how you hear”, usually in regards to how we see others, but how about ourselves? Something that stands out to me in Matthew 22:39 is that we must love ourselves before we can love our neighbors. Before we can love ourselves, we must love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, spirit, and mind. (This is so random, but it’s a thought that came: Wow! Jesus came down here, to live on the earth, just for us, humans! Like wow! Bruh, if that’s not love, I don’t know what is. Thank you, Jesus!) Now let’s get back to it. For years in my Christian walk, I have been trying to love others like how the Lord loves them, humbling myself in the best way I could so that pride could die and his love could rise to bring all men further into the gospel of Jesus Christ, whether they already accepted it or not. I want all to meet Jesus when they meet me. This past year, however, there was a sudden shift that I did not expect, that placed me at the feet of Jesus on a deeper level, a more uncomfortable level. He was causing me to live out my name, Esther, in a way that I never knew, to get out of my comfort zone just as Queen Esther did. He gave me an instruction through a word that was so hard to do, which was REST. Something that was difficult for me to accomplish because all I knew to do was go live in the patterns I had developed due to the troubling things I experienced. But what happens when the Lord tells you to rest? All those toxic traits, old ways of thinking, and survival mode habits must break off by learning to live in ways without them, learning how to function healthily because you're now in a healthier environment. However, he had to teach me how to be healthy (and still is) so that I would not self-sabotage, nor self-destruct, nor sabotage and destroy others along the way, as he would bring me into a healthier environment than the one I am currently experiencing.
It reminds me of the call of Joshua in Joshua Chapter 1, when the Lord instructs Joshua to go and possess the territory that He had promised to Moses and the Israelites. Joshua's assignment was not just about him, though, no, not at all. His assignment was actually about others, and he would get blessed from completing it. Joshua 1:15 states “Until the Lord have given your brethren rest, as he hath given you, and they also have possessed the land which the Lord your God giveth them: then ye shall return unto the land of your possession, and enjoy it, which Moses the Lord's servant gave you on this side Jordan toward the sunrising.” We have to understand that our lives are not just about us; each individual on this earth impacts another person’s life, whether we know them personally or not, and our assignments can not be complete without them. That’s why many times the enemy tries to make us focus on ourselves so that we do not go forth boldly in the things of God, but instead pity ourselves, condemn ourselves, or disqualify ourselves because we feel like God chose wrong. Though it may not be said out loud or intentionally, we think our human wisdom has better logic than instruction coming from the very voice of God. We think that our mistakes and past are more legitimate than the Author and the finisher of Faith. People of God, when will you forsake the sin of doubting God and believe that he is? God is more than enough, and we can’t keep siding with the devil, saying he’s not. For those who have made up their minds that they will believe God no matter what, say: I PUT MY FULL FAITH IN JESUS AND IT SHALL NOT WAVER. IF GOD SAID IT, I BELIEVE HIM.
This problem of doubting who God said He is and doubting who He said that I am became a root issue, a stronghold in the foundation of my life, that affected every aspect of it. From my perception of how life would be for me (which was all negative), how I think people saw me, my evangelizing, my ministry, my appearance, my speaking, my relationship with Him, my relationship with others, how I viewed his word, and how I accepted people’s opinions about me were all impacted by my lack of faith in the Lord. However, the Lord is faithful to fight for His people, and in March 2025, he showed that this war in my mind needed to end.
In March, the ministry I am a part of hosted a women’s retreat called “Esther Era” (lol, I know right). Though I did not attend in person, I had the privilege to experience the glory of God on such a great level that I knew I would not have been able to if I had gone in person. He had to meet me in the apartment to show me some things about himself and me. This was a three-day event. The Lord began to give me assignments every day to tear down strongholds I did not know needed to be torn down. Each day before the session began for the retreat, the Lord would lead me to complete an assignment during my time in the secret place, and the message preached during that day or session would be in complete alignment with the assignment he gave me to do. This is important because God is the God of those who are whole and healed. He will not send wounded (soul)ders (soldiers) to the battlefield if their souls still need some deep repairing to do, and this was the case for me. He had to go deeper to repair me so that I was showing up whole and healed instead of wounded, because when I would show up wounded, I would then retreat because my heart still needed healing. AND GOD SURE DID MEET ME.
HERE ARE THE 3 ASSIGNMENTS THAT HE GAVE ME
Surrendering it all.
All fears, trauma, hatred, insecurity, negative thoughts, doubt, shame, pain, worry, pride, fantasies, lust, idols, desire to want glory, how I want my life to go, desiring money, wealth, idolatry of ministers/ministries, how I viewed offices in the church, fear of people, seeking validation from the things outside of God, the personal call on my life. Even the things the Lord had promised, everything that was damaging my soul, I had to surrender it all to the Lord and lay it at His feet. I also had to repent, renounce, denounce, and tear down any demonic covenants linked to these things and establish that my covenant is only with the Lord Jesus.
2. Writing down the names of God
To keep in remembrance who God is and that there is no other. To always meditate on the truth of the identity of God so that life’s troubles, the enemy's lies, and other things don’t pull away from my hope, just by simply remembering the Lord and praying and worshipping Him in faith because of it. There’s a boost of faith and confidence you have in the Lord when you know Him; you approach both Him and life differently.
3. Writing down who I am in the Lord.
Writing down all the things the Lord said, I am in Him, my true Identity, not that false, condemned identity that the enemy was attacking me with in my head. Accepting that what the Lord said about me is the truth and knowing that though I may not see it completely like he does, I soon will, and it’s the truth. Also accepting that growth and new levels are a part of life, so I no longer condemn myself for feeling like I was not good enough or not doing enough when I was exactly where I needed to be in the Lord. The enemy's perfectionism is not what we are to live by, but the standards of righteousness God sets before us as His daughters and His people.
I highly encourage you all you take the time out to do these assignments with the Lord. Be sure to invite the Holy Spirit to begin to reveal things to you and to tell you who you are in God, for he is the Spirit who leads us into all truth (John 16:13).
Thank you once again for reading. I pray it blesses you in Jesus' name. Until next time, toodles. ❤️
Also, If you would like to accept the love of God and His son, Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, or even if you have backslidden and want to return to the Lord, Here’s a prayer to guide you.
“ God almighty, I come before you to accept your love, to no longer reject you and what you have done for me. I choose to stop running from you and to finally stop rejecting myself of your love. Thank you for dying for me Lord Jesus, thank you for taking on my sins and shame. Thank you Lord that you became a curse for me so that I would no longer be bound by them but set free by your blood that was shed for me. Thank You for making yourself available to me, as friend, father, Lord, God, helper, comforter, savior, and all the good things I need in my life. Jesus I love you and ask you to help me keep loving you like how you want me to. I accept you completely as my Lord and savior, not what this world and demons have presented to me. Now I declare in the both spiritual and physical realm, that I not longer belong to Satan nor his Kingdom but according to Colossians 1:13, God has delivered me from the kingdom of darkness and has placed me in the Kingdom of light, where Jesus Christ is, I declare I belong to Jesus Christ and I now seat with Him In heavenly places. I rebuke all demonic retaliation in me making this decision and come into agreement with a sound mind in Jesus’ name. I repent, renounce, denounce, and divorce myself from all the sins I’ve committed (list what you can remember) and break the evil covenants associated with them, and I declare once again I am a part of the kingdom of Jesus Christ. In Jesus’ name I pray and seal this prayer in His blood, Amen.”
Hallelujah! Congratulations if you made this decision. I pray that you prevail in your walk in the Lord, that forces of darkness continue to fail concerning you, and that the forces of light continue to persevere and propel you in the name of Jesus.
And if you have not yet, get yourself a Bible. Please, it’s a lot of ghetto foolishness concerning Christianity and religion. The Bible is the only way to protect you from it and will show you how to be a Christian and have a real relationship with Jesus Christ.
Let me know if you gave your life to Christ after praying the prayer in the comments.
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